I live in Suburbia. I have no complaints, it’s where I grew up, and I don’t have to pay rent, so I dig it. In terms of dating it’s not the most ideal place to date. Local bars are kind of creepy  and there are tons of families, so definitely not try to cause drama flirting with a Dad. So, dating apps are my way of “getting out there.” To be honest, my dating life is non-exsistent and I’m not too sad about it. When I’m free, I like to spend as much time as possible with my Dad, because he’s dealing with Cancer. And, I’m a bit of a workaholic too. I’m so passionate about creating and working, that I don’t make it a priority to meet dudes, plus my last dating situation made me annoyed about dating. So, I guess this post is me sharing with ya’ll, I’m ready to get back out there, but also sharing how I’m using specific tips this time around.

When it comes to “dating” I have learned we need to be smart with our time. We need to be picky about who we waste time and energy on, it’s not stuck-up, but being smart because spending time with certain people can be so draining. When you’re drained, you can’t be your best self or be there for your family like I need to. – my last dating situation was that. So, in order to get myself back out there and socialize with dudes I’ve resorted to dating apps. Not the best in my opinion, but I don’t have time to just hang out and go to parties with friends and if I’m being honest I’d rather be working than hit a bar.  But lets be honest where do you go meet others to potential date? Leave me a comment or DM me, I’m curious. LOL

Besides not knowing where to meet eligible dudes, I’ve learned some things about dating, especially when it comes to dating apps. I’ve been ghosted, creeped on, but mostly, have have been left annoyed. I’ve had no luck with dating apps, but I’m surprisingly optimistic. I definitely know God and the Universe has a lot a to do with everything I go through and what I will go through, but in the mean time I find using  dating apps as a great way to figure out what I’m looking for in another person, to learn how to engage with others, and to make some memories.

Forever 21 Embroidered Top , White Vintage Levis (Thrifted), Forever 21 Lace Up Sandals, Adinas Pave Choker,  Who What Wear Thread Cross Body Bag 

I’ve learned life is about meeting new people and if you’re in a suburban situation like I am, it’s a way to get out there, when your location and career don’t really prompt good prospects. Dating apps are definitely an easy way to meet people, but annoying too, because basing someone off a picture doesn’t always physically equate to what you’ve hoped for. Below you’ll find a couple tips on navigating dating apps.

• MEET UP –  Once you match and have been chatting for a couple days, exchange phone numbers and meet up. Don’t keep chatting for more than 2 weeks. You want to bypass a catfish situation ASAP. Trust me. I have yet to experience a catfish experience, but I’ve experienced chatting with a dude for over a month  before we met up and then after meeting never chatting to him again.  This dude was moving down to SO-CAL  and we happened to match while I was up in SF. (*Dating apps suggest people based on geo-graphical location) We chatted for over a month, texted everyday, and planned to meet up as soon as he was down south. We planned to met up and to bring some friends to make it more chill. I thought he was super cute and was excited to date this potential prospect. We were at one bar and decided to go to another one, so once we decided on which bar, he randomly told me to go on with my friends to the next bar without him and his friends. He said “I have no say tonight on what we do, so you’re better off going to hang out with my girlfriends at the other bar.” WTF?  I left the bar with my friends and never saw him or talked to him again. I guess that was his way of telling me he’s not interested. LOL  Long story short don’t wait a month to meet up with a match, because it’ll be easier to deal with handling someone or you not being interested. You can waste a lot of time and emotions in a month, so meet up with your match as soon as your schedule permits. Totally sucked, but that leads me to my next tip.

• TALK to a BUNCH of DUDES/BABES – I’m not saying be a player, but a lot of times these dudes flake out or you’re not interested when you meet in person. It’s okay to not be interested, but don’t waste too much time on a dude, until you know you’re into him or the feelings are mutual. I’m a chick the likes to focus on one person at a time and get to know one at time, but I’ve learned it’s best not to get your hopes up.  Use apps and endless matches to figure out what you want in someone. Figure out what you like about different personalities or what your ideal date is. Use an app as good research. If you’re not talking to anyone else, while focusing on one guy, it makes it harder for you to be resilient and not get butt hurt over loser dudes that tell you to leave a bar with your friends.   I’ve learned the whole point of datings apps  is to meet new people and connect, possibly date them, but ultimately figure out what you’re looking for in a potential partner.

• DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONAL – Another thing I’ve had to learn how to deal with from my app dating experiences is when a dude doesn’t like me. Ultimately you should trust that the universe has your back and this person you’re starting to like that is not interested in you, is ultimately not meant for you. Trust me,  I’ve tried hard to hang out with a dude, because I liked them and wanted them to like me back. I’ve learned you can’t force anyone to like you or hang out with you. There is more involved than this person thinking you’re pretty or cute.  Below are a couple thoughts to keep in mind that have helped me not take things personal in the app world, when the dude doesn’t like me or I feel like things aren’t the right fit:
  • Figure out if ya’ll have any common interests. If you can’t find common ground, how are ya’ll supposed to build a friendship or even a relationship. You need some common interests – values even.
  • Ask about their last relationship. I learned  that in my last dating situation. No it’s not too much to ask that question, because that goes back to not wasting your time and energy. His past relationship might be a reason this person is not 100% committing to you. They may be just using you to get over their last situation, which happened to me last time!! Definitely ask.
  •  Do you vibe? That is so important. If you can’t hang out without alcohol or a group of friends, then how are you supposed to hang or get into a serious relationship? If the vibe isn’t there or you’re bored, move on. Be honest about your feelings and own up to them, so you’re not wasting your time or hurting someone else’s feelings. You never want to be reckless with someone else’s heart and don’t let them be reckless with yours.  Also, ask yourself if you want to make out with that person. Relationships are more than just friendships, there is a physical part to them, so figure out if you vibe and are attracted to them.

So, these are some things I’ve learned through my experience with dating apps. They’ve been around since I was 23, so I definitely have some experience. Not the best, but hopefully they’ll help you navigate the app world if you’re intersted in dabbling and meeting new people too.